How to deal with Emotional pain and suffering?

Our emotions are powerful. They make us human. 

As humans, we experience different types of emotions. Sometimes, we are happy and content, while there are days when getting out of bed feels heavy.

We experience grief and suffering at least at one point in our life. It can be the death of a loved one, a breakup, or losing friends.

We reach a point in our lives when we bury those intense, uncomfortable emotions and try to escape them. And when we buckle them up, they come back stronger late in our lives and ripple our balance. Buckling up ripples our emotions and takes us away from being who we are.

To live our life the best way, we must acknowledge our suffering and heal. But let’s accept the fact that it’s easier said than done. When we don’t heal, we suffer. It’s a process that might feel like staring in the dark. But in the end, it’s all worth it.

In this article, we will talk about emotional pain, its facets of it, and how can we overcome it. 

So, let’s dig in.

What is Emotional Pain?

Emotional pain is an unpleasant and distressing feeling that you experience due to grief or loss.
According to Clarivate, “Web of Science”, emotional pain is a state of ‘feeling shattered,’ which includes the sensation of being wounded, a sense of loss of self, a sense of separation, and a critical knowledge of one’s bad characteristics.

Another psychologist Edwin S. Shneidman describes emotional pain as an acute state of intense psychological pain associated with feelings of guilt, anguish, fear, panic, loneliness, and helplessness.

It can be a feeling of numbness. A broken heart. A detrimental loss. It’s the pain that we think is unbearable. But regardless of the source, it’s an indication that we are humans.

On days when we feel that there is no end, you must remember that there are countless ways to get out of this dark loop. We can find joy and fulfillment, but before that, we must detach ourselves from the day. And to do that, we must understand our emotions and how they impact us. That would give you the ability to unlock the control and heal.

How emotional distress feels like?

There must be times in your lives when your heart feels heavy; sometimes you know why, sometimes you don’t, but the truth is that it never feels pleasant. This could be a result of the emotional distress you are experiencing.

 While going through this, you may be confronted with a ton of thoughts, some of which may make you cry and others that will open the door to extreme melancholy within you. You may feel useless, and all of your positive feelings about yourself and the world around you may have fled. All self-care ideas may have appeared to be incredibly irritating to you, and you would not follow any of them.

Your current attitude regarding everything may be favourable, neutral, or negative. As your discomfort worsened, the likelihood of self-neglect would also grow to make your decision-making abilities weaker and weaker. With a broken heart, you may feel like you can barely stand up, and even if you can, you must be feeling a wave of pain throughout your body. These types of emotional pain have a major influence on your mood, sense of well-being, behaviour, and health. This also leads to physical symptoms like nausea, dizziness, muscle pain, high blood pressure, and many more.

When you are experiencing emotional pain, you are more likely to become unreasonable and impulsive, which can lead to poor life decisions.

Importance of taking small steps every day.

Overcoming emotional pain is never easy; it frequently necessitates a sequence of self-analysis to determine the answers to questions such as “What is causing you this stress?” or “What is causing you this anxiety?” Is this because of your health problems? Or, according to you, it’s because of the run of bad luck that has followed you up to this point. 

To find the answers to these questions, you must dig further and deeper within yourself, and once you do, resisting the pain will become much easier than it was previously.

Whatever the cause of your mental distress, it is never justifiable for you to continue living in that situation; it is your duty and responsibility to overcome it and heal yourself. This may not happen all of a sudden or in one day, and you may fail to do so on your own. Still, with the help of your loved ones and modest daily steps to work on shattered emotions, you will eventually grow out of your agony and be able to experience the genuine joy that you deserve.

Facets of emotional Pain

Emotional pain is a web of complex mixed emotions choked with a list of tricky feelings and all the incidents that brought it to you. For a better understanding of emotional pain, we must understand its facets. Here are some aspects of emotional pain that will help you understand your pain better.

1. Anger

There is a famous quote “ Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath”. Anger is a complex feeling that we all experience at times, and we all get into problems as a result of it. This is the emotion that, if not well balanced, might demoralise us on a far larger scale.

Anger can occur in response to a slight setback, creating aggravation, dissatisfaction, and even self-pity or envy. Since our anger makes things worse, it might be dangerous to us if we don’t control it well and keep it inside all the time. For our own and others’ sake, we must handle our anger issues sooner or later.

2. Deeply buried sadness

Sadness is another unfavorable emotion that we experience. There are many occurrences in our daily lives that can make us sad; sometimes it’s because we didn’t get our favorite food, and other times it’s because of bad weather; anything can make us sad. But sometimes, prolonged sadness can be an indication of a bigger problem.

 However, an unbalanced regulation of sadness within us can lead to severe difficulties, which is why our causes for sadness should be addressed early and intentionally with compassion.

3. Stubborn anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of fear, dread, and uneasiness. It’s a hard emotion to master. We frequently find ourselves in situations that can cause us to worry whether it is an exam or we have to give speech anxiety.

Anxiety is frequently associated with stress, and it can cause severe symptoms that are harmful to our health. As with other emotions, there are many levels of anxiety to deal with, each having a different impact on us.

4. Guilt and Shame

We aren’t flawless, and we all make mistakes. However, sometimes recognizing our errors and moving on isn’t enough for us, and we find ourselves in a position of guilt and shame. To begin with, shame is not the same as guilt; they are two distinct feelings with a close relationship.

Guilt is an externalized feeling, whereas shame is an internalized sensation. We may feel ashamed for a variety of reasons, such as doing something wrong and seeing the result of simply being embarrassed by others. 

The most important thing is to let go of this psychological emotion by forgiving us for any wrongdoing we may have committed and ignoring the one who makes us feel this emotion.

Ways to deal with emotional pain and suffering

Stop bottling up your emotions

It’s a natural human desire to hide our feelings from others; most of us believe that doing so will make us appear weaker in the eyes of the public. However, you must immediately cease doing so; the more you suppress your emotions, the more difficult it will be to regulate them. Trying to hold your emotions in will result in a sudden eruption, which can be devastating to your personal and professional life. Allowing your emotions to flow freely is the greatest approach to dealing with them; it may be difficult at first, but it will ultimately benefit you and help you overcome your sorrow.

Journalize your emotions

One of the best ways to work with your emotions is to journal about them, which will help you overcome your fear of being judged and criticised. Starting a journal can assist you in this process by allowing you to analyse, evaluate, and adjust your feelings to detach from them.

You may even start with a gratitude list or journaling prompts to help you manage your emotions and thoughts more effectively.


We can get so caught up in our sorrow and misery that we don’t even want to let it out. Crying may be the most effective way to do so since it will allow you to release all of the agonies that have been trapped inside you in the form of toxins. Studies have shown that Crying has health benefits such as releasing toxins from your body and relieving stress.

Avoid retelling your story to everyone

It is not a good idea to tell your story to every new person you meet to get rid of your misery. Not only will it allow you to retell your narrative over and again, increasing your suffering, but it will also tire your friends and relatives. It is essential to seek the advice of a mental health specialist who can show you how to deal with your problems.

Move your body

Moving your body, which will offer your body a surge of endorphins and dopamine(hormones responsible for happiness), is the best approach to regulating your emotional anguish and pain. You wouldn’t believe that exercising your body can be a game-changing approach to overcoming grief and pain. You don’t have to start with hard training; mild yoga or even going for a walk can get the same results.

Practicing exercise every day

Exercising and making it a part of your everyday routine can assist you to deal with your circumstance. Studies have proven that regular exercise has a far stronger impact on emotional stress regulation. High-intensity training, running, jogging, walking, pilates yoga, and gymming, can be used to achieve greater results.

Go back to your hobby

Persuading yourself to take up a hobby will allow you to put your time and effort into something worthwhile. Instead of sitting around doing nothing, you begin to learn new talents or do whatever makes you happy.

Going to guitar classes, writing, reading, learning to dance, sing, or anything else will help you divert your attention away from your emotional anguish and onto something beneficial.

Talk to a Professional

When your agony becomes impossible to bear and you are unable to move, obtaining professional advice is the best course of action. A psychiatrist or mental health specialist will analyze your psychological concerns and assist you in incorporating good coping and defence mechanisms into your pain management. We, at Phanes clinic, have a team of qualified psychologists who can listen to your suffering and provide support.

Give yourself time to heal.

Your mind and body are soul mates because just as your body requires time to recover from physical injuries, your mind requires time to return to a healthy state as well. Giving yourself time does not indicate that you should ignore your suffering; rather, it implies that you should practice all of the above methods regularly, trusting that you will improve with time without forcing or pushing yourself too hard.


Emotional pain or anguish is an unpleasant sensation that causes discomfort, despair, and loneliness. Several facets build up emotional pain like anger and sadness. It is possible to get rid of your emotional pain or distress by taking a few basic measures in your life, such as letting your emotions flow and exercising daily. Seeking professional help in the event of extreme discomfort is highly recommended and advised.


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